David Letterman Elvis Top Ten – Elvis Top
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Top Ten Things Elvis Would Say if He Came Back Today
10. I’ve been dead 38 years, and I still look better than Keith Richards
9. What do you know? The Jets still suck
8. I’m hungry — is there are any food stuck in my sideburns?
7. I can’t believe I missed the McRib Sandwich!
6. Who’s this ‘Richard Simmons,’ and why’s he keep trying to hug me?
5. I’ve been dead 38 years, – of course I want fries with that!
4. Heaven was great until that freaky bastard Tiny Tim showed up
3. That Letterman punk’s on the TV — where’s my revolver?
2. I haven’t been dead — I’ve been starring in a series on CBS
1. Lisa Marie married who? Top Ten Things Elvis Would Say if He Came Back Today
10. Maybe I should get me one of them Wonderbras
9. Sonny, Red, help me brush the dirt out of my sideburns
8. This new President and I disagree on a lot of things, but french fries ain’t one of them
7. Is there something I just don’t get about Pauly Shore?
6. What happened to Ed Sullivan, and who’s that dork using his theater?
5. Can I get that Miata in pink?
4. What’s my old smokin’ buddy Suzie Molinari doin’ these days?
3. All you people who thought I was alive this whole time — you morons!
2. I’d heard Lisa Marie married Michael Jackson, but this guy in the wedding photos is white
1. Bob Dole? Didn’t I meet him back when I was dead?